Avast, Ye Scalawags!

If ye be a landlubber, then right about now ye be askin' yerself, Why would the Government establish a Web site for pirates? Surely the Government doesn't condone such a scandalous activity! And then, most likely, ye be polishin' yer monocle, and mincin' about yer dry, salt-free mansion... or whatever it be that ye landlubbers do when ye aren't makin' trouble for honest pirates like meself.

But if ye be of the Brotherhood... why, then, ye know the answer already. The radish-eatin' land Government don't dare make no Web site for us, no, but the Pirate Government got no such qualms.

Ye see, we buccaneers be noticin' a disturbin' trend: Today's young whippersnappers got no respect for pirate traditions. Oh, sure, they talk o' piratin' this movie, or that popular song, but then they just sit at their computers, typin' away. Ten thousand thunderin' typhoons! Real pirates don't type! Real pirates can barely read or write (unless they be readin' or writin' treasure maps).

But if there's one thing pirates are good at, it's takin' the battle right to the richest port. And if today's new pirates be a-fightin' on the Internet, why, that's a-where we'll sail.

So, we kidnapped ourselves a Web designer, and set about teachin' him everything we could about the Pirate code. He's a bright young lad, this one is. Sure, he don't speak the Pirate tongue--he's always endin' words with a "g" what ought to be endin' with one of them apostrophes--but he learns fast. When he knows everythin' there is to know about the ways of the Brethren, this here Web site'll be much bigger. In the meantime, it's a... What do them landlubbers call it, with their fancy talk? Aye, a "work in progress."

(If ye can't be waitin' to learn, then ye'd best be buyin' yourself a copy of The Government Manual for New Pirates, which be a treasure chest full-to-burstin' of valuable pirate lore.)